How much I hate Pikachu Jan 7, 2010 1:13:58 GMT -5
Post by Wa on Jan 7, 2010 1:13:58 GMT -5
I have passionately hated Pikachu my entire life. This little yellow furball normally graces the barbecue at our family residence, as it is unfit for anything but consumption. Pikachu is a pest, a sort of vermin, which not only invades our homes but also our children's brains, convincing them (with the help of the evil mastermind Ash Ketchum) that a denim jacket and fingerless gloves are the epitome of cool. In reality, those are both incredibly dorky. The pest has even caused mass seizures with its electric attacks. Millions of dollars have been spent by parents over the years buying Pikachu-related merchandise for their brainwashed children. Even I have stooped to the level of such people by purchasing that filth. Furthermore, the situation is even worse than it seems. Pikachu and the people at Game Freak have conspired to create slightly altered clones of the yellow rodent in order to capture new fans into the Pika cult. These clones, which the afflicted affectionately call Plusle, Minun, and Pachirisu, grace new branded items (along with the original Pikachu) in an attempt to freshen up this despicable, greedy franchise. Pikachu has even crept into the video games, the most sacred of places, as a money grabbing fiend in Pokemon Special Pikachu Edition (known to those unaware of the plot as Pokemon Yellow). In this way this most abominable species of Pokemon and its kin have greedily snatched the souls of children worldwide.